Pairing game challange
by Raybie
Summary: A collection of one shots. Why? Because I am challenging myself to use completely random tree friends in my least favorable skill, romance. Who knows what kind of pairing the numbers will call out next.
1. Game one: Russell x Petunia

Welcome! I need to improve on some things like gore and romance. I have decided that this would be the funnest way to do it.

I have made a list of the characters and will use a random number generator to pick two characters. Most of the characters are male, and so yes, guy-guy pairings are the most probable.(girl-girl pairings are the least) I could rig it differently, but I'm too lazy. Perhaps if I get tired of writing them like that I might use genderbend, but in my current composer I am not comfortable doing so.

No lemons or whatever.

Fair warning, I have never dated before in my life and so the romance will be guesswork.

Oc-ness may occur, but the personalities of htf aren't too restricting anyhow.

Now lets see who is up first for our game!

* * *

Featuring:

Russell and Petunia

* * *

Out on the sea, a sea otter stood smiling to himself. It was a perfect day, with a nice breeze and plenty of sun. It was far nicer than the previous day which had stormed so roughly, Russell nearly canceled his departure. But he braved the storm, though now with only a few men brave enough to go out into the sea with him, he had made great time in his journey.

Suddenly, the ship gave a great shake with enough force to make the sea otter fall to the ground. Russell attempted to steady himself, and managed to climb to his knees. Looking over the side, he saw a great squid.

Letting out a meek arg, he nervously backed away from the beast. But upon hearing the sound of his beloved ship being broke into pieces, he gathered his courage. He jumped off the side towards the great sea beast and with his best effort to defend his ship, he slashed at it with his hook hand, only to fall into the great sea below and lose consciousness.

The squid picked up the body, attempted to take a bite only to throw it out in disgust tasting the hard wooden peg leg.

"aurgh" Russell grumbled, slowly opening his eyes. Observing his surroundings, the captain hung his head down in shame and grief. Around him, was the sand of an island, soaked with the blood and covered in the bones of his brave men.

"AHHHH!"

Russell turned his head quickly towards to source and saw a girl. A blue skunk, as beautiful as the sea itself. She was horrified at the site before her and quickly fled the scene.

Russell let out a sigh, any other day he would have followed her, asked her to dinner, speak with her. But not today. Today was the day the sea had stolen from him his companions.

It was not fifteen minutes later that someone came up behind him.

The girl, back again, seeming to have calmed down, brought help and offered the former captain food. Russell thanked her and took it, though he had not taken a bite when tears forced their way from the head strong captains eyes.

Petunia helped Russell up and helped him keep his balance as he limped with his good peg leg.

Once at home, she made sure they both got thoroughly cleaned. She had to send him back into the shower more than once. When she was finally satisfied, they went together with the townspeople to prepare a funeral for the lost men.

"Arg, the sea is a harsh mistress, but often when she takes something, she gives another. She has brought me yo-" "EEK! No! Stop right there! " The skunk interrupted. "You better not be trying to ask me out using someone's death! That's just... That is just horrible you sicko"

"Too soon?" Russell asked quietly, started by the lass' outburst. "Yes, way too soon." Petunia said softly before walking away. After a few steps, she turned back at him with a soft smile on her face. If it wasn't for the bad timing, she may have considered going out with him. He didn't seem too bad... *SPLAT*

Across the paved road lay Petunias splattered remains. The large truck came to a stop, but far too late.

* * *

I feel guilty. Oh well, it will go away eventually, so I'll just ignore it until it does.


	2. Game two: Sniffles x Lammy

Okay time for tale number 2.

h555 I'm using a random number generator to generate a completely random pairing. But if Flippy and Flaky don't turn up in the next three chapters, then how about I try my hand at writing them as a bonus to story five.

* * *

Today's episode features:

Sniffles and Lammy

* * *

A new day and new experiment. But today seemed far too slow. Sniffles gave a loud sigh before heading out into town. On his walk he decided he would stop by at a hardware store for some supplies. Easily he gathered gears and trinkets which he deemed useful. In a just a few minutes he decided he had gathered enough. Taking his pile to the counter, he slipped, nearly hitting his head on a rake. Picking himself up, he examined the floor. A gasp escaped him as he saw his friend handy, a regular customer here, decapitated on the ground. The site made him feel sick, but nonetheless he looked for the source of his friends untimely demise.

"Mr. Pickles what have you done?" A shocked voice said near him. Turning to face the source, he saw the new girl Lammy. Next to her was a sheath covered with blood. The girl was covered in the red substance, but her attention was to a pickle laying in front of her. It took a few moments but everything clicked in the anteaters head. This girl is dangerous. Yet she cried and truly believed the pickle had done that to Handy.

Having read up on disorders when Flippy had moved into town, he quickly made a diagnosis. He took her hand and attempted to lead her away from the scene. Finding a cure for her would be a great feat to complete. Lammy was more than reluctant to leave where he lay, but Sniffles came up with a small lie saying that she needed to leave him to the police. He was a murderer and not a good person to hang around. Lammy disliked this even more, but it was true the needed to be taught a lesson. So, she agreed to go with Sniffles and help him with what he needed. She walked with guilt in her eyes for leaving her best friend alone in the store to wait for the police to find him.

Once there, Sniffles quickly went to work, leaving Lammy to explore the lab for a little while. Not very many people would invite the lamb over since always chased them away. She sat down on Sniffles recliner and relaxed a bit. Sniffles was being so nice for not blaming her or calling an imaginary friend. He seemed to believe her. But most people didn't so what would the police do to ? This new thought brought her worry, but she tried to clear her head and turned on Sniffles TV.

Lumpy was reporting at the scene of the murder. Lammy expressed her annoyance with a sigh but decided to continue watching the program. They started talking about suspects.

"EEP!" Lammy squeaked out when she saw her name and photo as the primary suspect.

"But it wasn't me." she said to herself.

Sniffles mixed together two vials of an orangish liquid which caused the full vial to become a dark pinkish colour. With the new concoction in hand, Sniffles tested it to make sure it was safe enough for human consumption. When it passed, Sniffles was overjoyed, but then, how could he be sure if the chemical would work? He peeked in on Lammy and put aside the concoction.

"Lammy, would you like to leave?" Sniffles decided he should ask. He never did ask the girl what she wanted. He just made assumptions.

"i-I'm not sure... He's my best friend..." The confused girl said quite unsure of herself. "He's not good for you." Sniffles replied. "If he stays, then won't he just keep hurting people and getting you into trouble?"

"But he has always been there for me."

"I'm here for you now."

* * *

Is this one alright? Each time the pairings are chosen I am so nervous and wonder, "How can I possibly work with this weird crack pairing thing?" Then I get a story. Suggestions are very much appreciated, and I will try and add perhaps some of the more popular pairings as well. But as bonuses inside the random pairing. Maybe I'll do a double date theme sometime.


End file.
